Presidential BAMFs
9:17 AM Posted In history , rap Edit This 1 Comment »
I love US history. It's fascinating. There's nothing I love more than coming out of my US History class just feeling like "Damn right I'm an American, we're a nation of BAMFs!" Kick ass. One of my favorite things to study throughout US history is the Presidents, specifically the good ones.
My favorite president is Abraham Lincoln, who I prefer to call Babe Lincoln, or simply The Babe. A close second is Andrew "Ol' Hickory" Jackson. Now that right there was one kick ass gentlemen. Coming into office with two bullets in his body, surviving smallpox, the Battle of New Orleans, and attacking an assassin with a cane. What's not to love?
So, it was yesterday that I was thinking "how amazing would it be if The Babe and Ol' Hickory joined forced and became a multi-platinum rap duo?" Answer: IT WOULD BE AMAZING.
This is how the rap duo plays out in my mind:
The name is "Da Prez-E-Dentz," and the members of the duo are Babe LinkN and Ol' Hik'ree. LinkN I imagine would wear his standard top hat, but with a twist. Something like $100 bills would be sticking out of the sash part, which would of course be covered in diamonds. The rest of his outfit would just be the black suit, maybe with diamond cufflinks and pimp cane. Jackson on the other hand, or should I say Ol' Hik'ree, would be in a general's suit, because he was such a baller general. His suit, however, would have epaulettes spun from fine gold silk, decorated with some sort of bling. I imagine his buttons would be 24K gold, and the ascot that peeks out -ever-so-slightly from underneath the jacket would be Louis Vuitton monogrammed. And if you think that's not enough, not only is he sporting ferosh grillz, but he's packing heat just incase he needs to be involved in a duel.
I was thinking of drawing these outfits, but then I remembered that I am worthless at drawing. But I can spit a decent rhyme, so instead I wrote their first hit song. Their sound is sort of like the Beastie Boys, and I tried to work in as much historical information as I could, so the youngsters could learn a thing or two whilst listening to this #1 jam. Please enjoy and throw yo' hands in the ayer.
"Prez of the USA"
(Lincoln)
HEY LADIES
I'm Abe the Babe
From Illinois state
Prez during a time
Of so much hate
Wanting succession
To abate
I wrote a proclamation
To emancipate
(Jackson)
Check it out
Well I'm Ol' Hik'ree
From Tennessee
I came to start
The Democratic Part-y
Prez of this land
From sea to shining sea
And I stuck it to the National Band
In 1833!
(Chorus)
Cuz we the Prez
We the Prez
We the Prez of the USA
I told ya, we the Prez
We the Prez
We the Prez who like to part-aaaay!
(Lincoln)
Fo' sco'
And seven years ago
Ol' Hicks was messin' 'round
Wit a bit fat ho'
I said "whoa, whoa"
Tryin' to be a good bro
But Hicks said
"Stay out my biz"
Like he was James Monroe!
(Jackson)
Damn straight!
I live my life
Without any fears
Had 13 duels over the years
And if you hatin'
And givin' me jeers
Then I'll send ya along
On my Trail of Tears
(Chorus)
Listening To: Let the Cool Goddess Rust Away by Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
1 comments:
Oh my gosh. This is amazing. WE SHOULD DRAW THEIR OUTFITS. Also, you are a filthy racist. Wait no, that's me.
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